Oh Mildred

Now, I know there are a lot of gays out there who like a good dose of La Joan Crawford, but let me tell you, no one knows Crawford until they see Mildred Pierce. Made in 1945, this movie transformed Mommie Dearest from Hollywood fluff to Hollywood heavyweight. It was on Turner Classic Movies' 31 Days of Oscar, and co stars a very young Ann Blyth as the vicious Veda, Mildred's love her hate her daughter who is the bitch of all bitches. Mildred, scorned by her husband, decides the best way for revenge is to open up a restaurant, make it into a huge corporation, and spoil their daughter sick, taking the blame for her money laundering, murder. Butterfly McQueen, a somewhat famous black actress from back in the day, ("I don't know nothin about birthin no babies...") is a fucking riot as Lotte the maid and it's all mad, good fun. Don't even get me started on the fur coat. Viktor and Rolf were obviously just as crazy about it as I was. Check out this monster from their Fall 2006 collection.




My favorite scene in the flick was when Mildred and Veda are having a face off on the stairs of their sweeping southern California mansion. "Get out!" Shouts Joan, "Get out before I throw your things out the window! Get out before I kill you!"

Oh yes. I'm definitely naming my future cat Veda. And I'm Mildred.

Proenza Mon Amour

I have an unhealthy obsession with the clothing of New York designers, Jack McCollough and Lazaro Hernandez of Proenza Schouler. It is, in part, because I interned with them on their Fall 2004 collection when they were a little more up and coming then they are now. And, it is also because they make some fierce fucking luxury wear. I tried on most of the samples from the aforementioned collection, and let me tell you, coyote never felt so good. But that particular collection, hot as it was, received mixed reviews from the editors with the exception of French Vogue's Carine Roitfield, who was rumoured to have bought almost every piece. Here are a few looks from their Fall 2006 collection, which was hailed as one of the most exhilirating collections among a very mediocre fashion week. Cheers to you boys.

Just Breathe

Lindsay Lohan has a new hot tat on her wrist, white, and oh so cute. Just like her.

Dress Season

I thought I'd post a few pictures of some prom dresses I made for the high school set. They are SO much more high fashion than Frenze. The fabulous photos were all taken by the International Superstar DJ, Jesse Walker.

The Hurricane

I Tivo'd an old movie of my great-grandmother's on TCM. It's called The Hurricane, and was made in 1937. I didn't get a chance to watch it until last night, when I'd already had a few glasses of wine. And it is one fucked up movie.

It's about a half naked hottie who's persecuted by an evil safariman because he's in love with a native woman incapable of forming complete sentences, played by the lovely Dorothy Lamour. My great-grandmother, Mary Astor, plays the safariman's wife, and her name, get this, is Germaine De Laage. Anyways, the end of the movie climaxes with some of the most amazingly creepy special effects I've seen in a movie. It is actually the first movie in the Disaster genre. When I read granny's autobiography, she wrote a lot about the making of this film. They brought in insane industrial fans and tied the actors to the trees, in between takes, the make up artists would have to cover the tiny cuts all over the actors' faces because of how fast sand and water were blasted in their faces.

These were the old days of filmmaking, and it looks, horrifically enough, like a real motherfuckin hurricane. And nobody survives. Except of course, Dorothy Lamour, half naked hottie, and their halfie baby Tita. And my great-grandmother of course, who rescues the interracial family from the wrath of her husband with the last line of the movie.

"It's only a floating log."

Halfway Miss America

I was disturbed after watching this year's Miss America pageant. I mean, I'd just woken up, it was on Vh1, no Tivo, and none of the girls were even that cute. Average, at best. Now, I honestly can't remember the last time I watched a Miss America pageant, but I'm pretty sure it was while I was still in grade school.

The final three contestants all answered the same question at the end of the program. It asked about a formative childhood experience, and Alexa Jones of Alabama just blathered on about dance, not any one specific event that defined her as the woman she's supposed to be. Then the next girl, Jennifer Berry of Oklafuckoma, responded by talking about returning her pencil to someone in the sixth grade...and being put down by the teacher...but in the end...I don't know, she lost me. Then Miss Monica Pang of Georgia shared her heartfelt experience of growing up as an ASIAN AMERICAN WOMAN. But it doesn't stop there, she thanked her CHINESE FATHER AND WHITE MOTHER for all of their love and support. Guess who I wanted to win?? And guess who stood out the most from her fugly girl next door competitors?

Well, the drums were rolling, and the third runner up was about to be named. There is a camera on all three girls and Alexa Alabama looks over expectantly at Georgia Pang! Waiting for her to lose out! You should've seen the look on her face when they called out her name, I almost wet myself. And then...bum bum bum...Jennifer Whiteass Berry wins the crown. Now, I half hoped that the competition would get with the times, I mean, China is positioned to become the next world superpower and every thing Asian is so hip. But after seeing the girl who won last year, I immediately called Jennifer Berry as the winner, because she looked identical to her predecessor.

The Premiere

Whohoo! I finally have a place online where I can promote, bitch, and share....awww. Just what I wanted for Christmas. Hey, the seaponies are excited.